Scrap That!
Sessions:
Focus:
Youth sessionHabitsAuthor:
Paul Lee, St Albans VineyardScrap That - 2 - Complaining
Key text
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This is the second week in our series called “Scrap That” where we are looking at habits and behaviours that God really wants us to stop. Last week we were looking at excuses, the impact that these have on our relationship with God and how these prevent us from achieving all that he intends for us. This week we are looking at complaining and the impact that this has on our lives. |
What The Nation Complains About
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The idea for this game is to highlight how widespread and normal complaining is within our society.
Give each player a card and then get the group to arrange the complaints into the order they think would be the top 20, with 1 being the most common complaint.
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Let’s start thinking about complaining with a game. The newspaper the Telegraph did a survey ranking the 100 most complained about topics by adults across the UK. I am going to give you each an entry from the top 20 and your task as a group is to put them in the right order. |
The correct order (according to the Telegraph) is:
- 1. Chavs
- 2. People driving too close to you
- 3. People who smell
- 4. People who eat with their mouth open
- 5. Rude shop assistants
- 6. Foreign call centres
- 7. Stepping in dog poo
- 8. People who cough and don’t cover their mouth
- 9. Slow internet connections
- 10. Poor customer service
- 11. Dog owners who don’t pick up their poo
- 12. Noisy eaters
- 13. Cold callers
- 14. Door-to-door salesmen
- 15. Stubbing your toe
- 16. Bullying
- 17. Computer crashing mid-way through an assignment
- 18. People who talk loudly on their phone
- 19. Spam email
- 20. The nation’s obsession with Z-list celebrities
Talk though the youth’s order and then see how many of the items they ordered correctly. Then re-shuffle the items into the order shown on the previous page.
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So what do we think about this list? Are there any points on here that you are surprised about, or anything you think is missing from the top 20? |
Have a brief discussion about the list and whether they think it represents their views.
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We see that as a nation we complain about loads of different things, some are big things some are small and petty. Many of the things we complain about are related to how we interact with other people. As we saw last week the Israelites can give us some great examples of how not to do life. We see in Exodus 16 : 2 - 5 that the people are hungry and are grumbling, even saying that they would rather be dead than continue living the way they are. What makes things worse is this follows not long after God doing amazing things, even parting an ocean to allow them to escape slavery in Egypt. This is something they had previously complained and asked God to do for them. God responds to their complaints by providing for their needs, giving them manna, bread from heaven so that they would not go hungry. However we see that the Israelites are not satisfied for long and soon go back to complaining, as we see in Numbers 11 : 4 - 6 that they are now bored of manna and want something different. They resort to their default response of complaining. What things do we grumble and complain about? |
What We Complain About
Have a brief chat about the things the youth complain about, and if possible try and encourage examples where there is some contradiction between the youth.
For example:
- Some might complain that they have no spare time because they are too busy with a part time job.
- Whereas another might complain that they cannot get a job despite trying really hard.
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We easily can fall into the trap of complaining about things. Even when God answers our complaints if we are not careful we will find something else to complain about. |
A Better Balance
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It can quite often be the case that we are not satisfied with the situations we are in, because we spend our time focusing on what we don’t have or don’t like rather than what we do have and do like. |
Split the group into two smaller groups and give each team half a paper cup and a piece of wood. Get them to arrange as shown below so that it balances.
Get the youth to take it in turns to put something they complain about on a card on one side. Then on the other side add things related to this that they are thankful for. The idea is that the thankful for side will far outweigh the complaint and the scales will tip in favour of thankfulness
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The only way we will be able to stop complaining is if we put them in perspective. We need to remember and be thankful for the great things that God has already done in our lives, and that these far outweigh the problems. |
There Is A Cost To Your Complaint
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It is not just the case as we saw in the previous exercise that reducing our complaining can help us feel happier and more thankful. It is also the case that there is a real cost to us complaining against God. We see in Numbers 14 : 28 - 31 God responds to the complaints of the people of Israel. The people were whining saying we would be better of dead here in the desert, why did we leave in the first place. Here we see God saying “if that’s what you want then fine… you will die in the desert… you will never see the wonderful land that I wanted to give you” The people missed out on paradise because of their negativity and continual complaints against God, when he had already done so much for them. We also need to keep this in mind as we go through our lives. Like we saw last week where making excuses to God’s invitations can cause us to miss out on the “fun of the party” and the great things he has in store for us, the same is true for complaining. If we don’t appreciate and be thankful for what he has given us why would he want to bless us with great things in the future. Can you think of any other examples in the Bible where there has been a cost our decisions? |
Examples of this could be:
- The parable of the talents, Matthew 25 : 14 - 30
- Reaping what you sow, Hosea 10 : 13 and Galatians 6 : 7 - 9
Turning Complaints Upside Down
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As we have already seen it can quite often be the case that we are not satisfied with the situations we are in. This can be because we spend our time focusing on what we don’t have or don’t like rather than what we do have and do like. However we do not have to settle for looking at life in this way. Instead what we should turn these complaints upside down and look at the opportunities that these present for us. |
Give each youth a complaint upside down card and get them to put a complaint at the top and then get them to turn it around so that the opportunity section is facing upright on this.
Get the youth to think about how they could look at their complaint differently, and instead see it as being an opportunity.
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A lot of our complaints are down to our own perspective. One person’s complaint may be another person’s desire. We should always try see our potential complaints as potential opportunities or challenges. |
Closing Reflection
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Let’s close by asking God to reveal to us the complaints in our lives that he wants us to turn upside down. Turning these into opportunities to move forward with his work. As we pray together it would be great if you can ask God to help you with this. You can say your prayers out loud or quietly in your heart:
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